Happy Christmas

I am sitting in the 'office' of a beautiful old farmhouse to the south of Cannock surrounded by icy fields and woods. The four cats we are 'looking after' are roaming the meadows and hedges persecuting the wildlife and then returning to demand food. The Lord of the Manor is in his home behind the barn (yes he really is a Lord) and the farmer up the lane is no doubt feeding his cattle on the hay he cut this summer. Catharine is in the oak-beamed kitchen cooking mince pies and sipping sherry. Quite an idyllic Christmas setting!

We will not be watching continuous TV this Christmas, we stopped doing that a few years ago. For some reason we no longer get excited by who is winning talent shows or dancing competitions. A quick glance at Strictly Come Dancing will make you realise that what it is about is women cavorting in the minimum of clothing for the 'entertainment' of the masses. Or am I just a highbrow and a blue-stocking?

On the radio this morning, Radio 4 of course, they were talking about a listener who had complained that a carol at his child's Christmas concert had been 'gender neutralised' so I thought it might be fun to have a go myself at 'politically correcting' a Christmas song.

Original words followed by politically correct words line by line.

Good Christian men rejoice

All folk of faith rejoice

With heart and soul and voice!

With personality and anyway you are able

Give ye heed to what we say

Give ye heed to what we say (audibly and by signing).

News! News!

News! News!

Jesus Christ is born today!

Jesus (one of the avatars of the 'special one') is born today!

Ox and ass before Him bow

He/She bows before the ox and ass

And He is in the manger now

And they are in the hotel now

Christ is born today!

The Avatar is born today!

Christ is born today!

The Avatar is born today!

Have a happy Christmas/Holiday/Winterval